Dedicated to Understanding the many splendors and wonders of the Universe, We testify as human Beings to share all things in common, Granted by the blessings of the Earth to All, Derivations of One.
Waiting for the end of times—No thing slows—
Our Fate-Our Friends—We shall not choose—but That
Must make no mistake—For That Thou Art We never Know—
That We make choice—To fill the space between
The Ons and Offs We make of It—To play—
Eternally turning them from Us—and Thou
In disgusting discussion—Some should say—
What would be the point of wandering
Should they say We were wrong to care so much
Of questions they could not answer—for What—
would Life matter if not for wondering
About a universe of splendor—Here and Now—
About losing all the ifs ands or buts
Around Our shared source—that We become Art
should We be so seperate, you and me?
Lost in thought, as the present escapes Us;
Our past is here but here comes the future
Imagination; a preview of life's coming attraction.
Though We may never know how,
We are Our own creature
Of love, and light, let Us be, the best action.
Lest We bow to Our ego,
Though Our bodies We must go,
should We construct a disparate faction?
My mind is all yours, should you want it;
For We want yours, as the sea wants the shores,
Waves of ebb and flow, We must know
One another, from the edge to the center;
Click. Gasp. I need to be in class in less than an hour. I flick on the light rushing into the bathroom, my face first catching my fuzzy vision through dilating eyes. My curls fall like vines below my ears before I fluff them up. Coming into focus, my eyes look foggy and dull from days of sloth. My smile is hidden behind a haze of dazing about with him. Just then, he rolls over in bed, so I shut the door.
Minutes later I’m ready to leave all this behind, if only for a few hours. Toast in my mouth, bag hanging from my elbow, I lock the door behind me, hoping he’ll get out to do something today.
Thud. Click. “Shit!” I snap awake, alone. “Stupid cunt,” I gasp, rubbing my throbbing head. “Olivia, what are you doing babe? Come back to bed!” Stumbling into the bathroom, I don’t trip over that sundress I love taking off of her, and wonder if maybe she’s finally tired of me. Noticing her makeup, I feel reassured that she hasn’t left me yet. I splash water on my face, and my eyes shut under the sun’s bright white light. Why does she always open these damn shades? I close them, light up a cigarette and wander into the kitchen, squinting at my phone. No calls all weekend, and how lovely it was! I don’t think I’ve ever been so lucky.
Sipping coffee, dragging my cigarette, I prepare a little rail to begin my day. Maybe this will get rid of this God-awful headache. My eyes water and my throat burns as I knock my head back under the force of a mighty snort, and the usual discomfort soon gives way to normality, or something like that.
Instead of down, I’m up and ready for breakfast. Orange juice, two fried eggs, bacon, toast and a bowl of yogurt and granola later, I’m rolling yet another cigarette and find my eyes have adjusted enough to enjoy the light of the balcony. The street below is crowded with people going about their day. I don’t recognize anyone, but then again, how should I when they all look like ants? I wonder what kinds of nonsense they’ll be getting into today, and I flick the butt over the rail into the world below before returning to safety.
It’s 9:04, and I still have nothing to do. Perfect… not that anyone would call me anyway. My best friend is my dealer, and he’s only interested in my money, just like anyone else. As long as I’m sitting, staring at this machine, I may as well ask the oracle what’s new. I check my e-mail, but the junk clutters me, so I decide to stumble; nope, nope… nope. News? War still, crime is up, and more corrupt politicians. I’ve always wondered why we call it new. The same shit’s always happening, and none of it good. What’s the point? I crawl back into bed, curl up and wonder when she’ll be back.
I like this painting, but don’t feel like it’s done. I’ve hit a wall, so I take a step outside for a smoke break. The air is crisp, and a breeze makes my hair swirl about my face as I make fire and take a deep breath. My lungs expand, and contract as I slowly exhale, and again, again, into infinity.
“Olivia,” his soft, cool voice snaps my attention away from my meditation, and his smile makes me blush. I’m not sure what to say and almost choke on my smoke.
“Hey Charlie,” I stammer and manage to continue, “How have you been?”
“Groovy, thanks. I graduate in a few weeks! How’s Eric?”
I look down at his feet, and I can tell he knows what I’m thinking. Peeking back up at his curious face, though, I think he’s actually oblivious, probably been too busy with life to notice. “Oh, he’s just great!” I lie.
“Glad to hear it! Of course, he didn’t take the death of his parents well; that’s why I ask…” he explains coldly. His bright eyes flicker with every kind of emotion imaginable, and I wonder what it is he’s getting at.
“Well, I’ve got to get back to my studio. I’ll be graduating soon as well! I’ve got so much to do before then though, it’s overwhelming. It was good to see you!” His eyes burn into the back of my head as I turn to go inside, running from the discomfort. Of course, he didn’t care to ask how I’m doing.
Back in the studio, that stupid painting just mocks me, so I decide to call it a day. I need to see if he’s okay. I’d bet he’s still asleep though. The ride back isn’t so long, but my mind is racing the entire time. I don’t know exactly what I’m doing, or why. It just sort of happens, and I’m home, sweating, tired and frantic. I wonder about my parents briefly, in anxiety, climbing the stairs up to the little cell we call home. There’s no need to rush, I think to myself but can’t quite convince my gut to settle down. That worry knot has become normal lately, especially at the apartment’s threshold, everyday, when I realize he’s still wasting away here.
I step over his shoes, smell bacon, but find nothing except a greasy pan and him in the fetal position, in bed, as expected. I make lunch and curl up on the balcony with a bowl, a good book and another smoke, hopelessly waiting for him to emerge from his stupor.
When I awake, I find my headache is worse than ever. I close my eyes again, but a family photo is seared into my eyelids, so I jump up, nearly stubbing my toe as I reach desperately for painkillers. Who am I kidding? These haven’t helped for years. I just wish I could go to sleep forever. If she’s back, I can try.
Her little smile wakes me up a bit, finding her enjoying the warmth of the cozy balcony. “What are you reading?”
“The Stranger; some French book. How did you sleep?” she replies, clearly forcing it.
“Okay, until I heard you slam the door on the way out this morning! My headaches are back…” I complain.
“Well, that’s not my fault! You’re the one who’s been greedy lately; you know how too much of that junk does you. You should try sharing more.”
“You’re always so busy; you hardly seem to want any. You’re better off without it anyway.”
“Don’t tell me what’s good for me. I’ll do what I like.”
“Okay, sorry, I’ll share if you want, but first, me.” He grabs the belt, a syringe, spoon, and his little vial. In minutes, he hands me the syringe with the beautiful, murky substance ready to go as he tightens the belt around his arm.
“I’ve never seen this much, Charlie. Are you sure?”
“I’ll do what I like. Trust me. That’s what we have the OD box for anyway.” He reassures me, exposing his vein like a fleshy, bruised fruit. His finger marks the spot, and I plunge in carefully, watching the brown liquid drain the color from his face. Losing his bright eyes as they sink into the ghost that was his face, my heart races wondering if we’ve made a mistake. He falls over, and I’m paralyzed.
When I can finally reach for the phone, I can’t tell if he’s breathing or not. I can’t do it. I don’t know why he thought I would. I can’t because this might be my chance. The voice on the other end of the phone sounds faint and unreal, and my voice cracks as tears begin streaming down my face. I can’t stand it; I drop the phone and rush over to his cold body. I cry for a minute before packing my things.
And I’m gone, again, alone.
Blisters are healing, memories are fading, but the gratitude of a full and open heart expands infinitely. For when We try to forget Our Self, instead promoting the greater good of all, our bodies and minds matter no longer. When Our heart consumes Our entire Being, Our Being loses relevance independently. Rather, it is only through Our connections and elevation of others that We might finally liberate Our Self from the illusory reality of separation. Charity, a fundamental pillar of every religion, is a blatant expression of such selflessness, but it is still bound to the physical constraints of subjective value. If We wish to remove such subjective restraints from liberation, sometimes We need something larger than Our Self to put matters into perspective.
This is exactly what my adventure, from the safety of my home in San Antonio, TX, walking through the Texas Hill Country, detouring through the wondrous Kerrville Folk Festival, hitchhiking through the Texas panhandle to Springfield, CO, backpacking through the desolation of the plains and desert of southeastern Colorado, and finally catching a ride with the sweetest old lady from Rocky Ford to Colorado Springs where the best of friends picked me up, all in only about 13 days, was supposed to epitomize. I surely had a blast, through the rough and beautiful, the disconcerting and comfortable, but altogether and overall friendly. My final destination, Sonic Bloom Festival, a phenomenon of tremendous social and spiritual transformation, where the best in electronic music, counter-culture and spirituality mix and mingle to manifest a multi-sensory experience for the benefit of all, strengthened my heart's commitment to the greater community of freaks, free-thinkers, radicals, outcasts and free spirits, just as expected. Anyone who gives love and peace a chance, who can surrender their own preconceptions and desires for a weekend of communal debauchery and Bliss for all, is a friend of mine, and I'm so inspired to know that there are so many of Us. Our unity may seem questionable at best, but there's certainly something that brings Us together, whether it be culture, music, drugs, love, what-have-you. The fact that We can gather as such, in harmonious celebration of the wonder of a life We don't fully understand, speaks wonders to the impact We might have if We only tapped into Our charitable humility and selflessness, collectively, effectively and efficiently.
Of course, this is much easier said than done. There are too many variables to account for what is right. We may believe, at one moment, that Amnesty International is deserving of Our collective donation, only to discover that We'd rather support something less intrusive, less structured, and perhaps less powerful. This is where I am at, and I'd love y'all's input. We've raised over $300 so far, through contributions to the pilgrimage that remain, which is currently intended to be donated to support global human rights through Amnesty International. The only dilemma is that, having followed Amnesty for a few years now, and only having recently learned about the Global Oneness Project, I'm not sure whether Our collective donation is best used serving western notions on corruption in Pakistan. As good as the work might be at Amnesty, The Global Oneness Project seems a much more appropriate recipient of Our donation, given the change it seems We would wish to see in the world. The Project is an educational non-profit aimed at showing the diverse ways oneness is expressed—in the fields of sustainability, conflict resolution, spirituality, art, economics, indigenous culture, and social justice—in hopes that others will be inspired to create solutions to personal and community challenges from their own lived understanding of oneness. Since 2006, they've been traveling the globe gathering stories from creative and courageous people who base their lives and work on the understanding that we bear great responsibility for each other and our shared world. living library of films is available for free from our website, through select broadcast outlets, and on DVD. Through events and educational materials we offer opportunities for people to deepen their experience with the different facets of oneness we are exploring.
Greater than forcing resolutions, education seems key to realizing a brighter future together. If everyone could be taught Our innate interdependence, Our oneness, Our world could be more united in peace, love and harmony. This is Our goal, and this is why I would like to change Our recipient to this endeavor, given Our collective consent of course. Please, let me know any questions or concerns you might have and We will get the ball rolling on Our collective donation scheduled for July 15th. Contributions will still be accepted through July 14th to make Our impact as large as possible. Through Our charity, We can hope to inspire others, enlighten many more, and, at the least, educate some as to Our Oneness. This is the least We might ask for, and, surely, in the future, We will be poised to manifest even greater change together.
Thank you all for your time, consideration and input. We need each and every one of Us to collectively manifest Our dreams. I'm ecstatic to be dreaming with y'all!
The Power Of Humility
In genuine humility, there is enormous power.
Free yourself from the demands of your ego,
and there is no limit to where you can go.
Let go of your desire to control others, and you vastly improve
the ability to control, focus and direct your own actions.
Let go of the illusion that you already know it all, and you
open yourself to higher levels of enlightenment.
Move beyond the need to blame, and you gain a greater degree
of responsibility. Get past the impulse to place judgments
on others, and you're able to focus much more clearly
on matters of real and lasting value.
Give up the thought that you're better than everyone else,
and a whole new world of opportunity opens up to you.
Stop seeking unfair advantage, and you're free to
develop an unstoppable effectiveness.
Quit demanding the most and start expecting the best.
You'll experience a level of true abundance that
you never before could have imagined.
Live each moment with humility, love, respect and
gratitude for the whole of life that surrounds you,
Whether working towards Our highest aspirations, enjoying Our selves or suffering, We certainly always live for moments. They are so difficult to escape that We often forget their intrinsic connections through time. Losing Our self in the moment, We forget that others are doing the same. Sometimes We disturb others' moments with Our own, good or bad, often without even realizing it. Our connection to each other is just as imminent. But We forget this too. We try to distinguish Our selves from others, when really We are One.
This weekend, at Sonic Bloom Festival at the Mishawaka Amphitheatre, Our goal is to forget Our self to collectively lose each other in the moment. And when all is 'said and done,' We will inevitably rediscover Our self and find others again. It is a phenomenon of social and spiritual transformation that I personally wouldn't miss for the World. And so I tried walking here from home in Texas. I walked over 300 miles in 10 days, made lots of new friends along the way, and reconnected with great friends here in Boulder. As We prepare to embark on yet another adventure, I must emphasize the need for collective unity at such a spectacular event. We must trust that despite Our differences, We are in a collective agreement as a community of light and love to be a shining example of what We wish to see in this World. If I've learned anything in this mad adventure, it's that We never can do anything alone.
So, if you care to benefit something larger than Us and the amazing experiences We will no doubt manifest together, I hope you'll find me to contribute to Our collective donation supporting global human rights through Amnesty International. We have already amassed a significant $300, but it's certainly no small task. Contributions will be collected through July 14th to ensure this is as big as possible! I will submit Our donation on July 15th to represent Our loving community in a charitable way to the World. We must only hope that others are listening.
Regardless of what shenanigans or mischief We may partake in, We must ultimately forget Our own satisfaction so that others might also revel in Our glory together with Us. We are not special, but We can make a difference. This We must never surrender.
Thank all of you beautiful people for constantly inspiring and promoting Our living dream. We are phenomenal when We realize it together. Bless Us.
The Universe, subtly beautiful, never fails to keep us guessing. The more We think we know about It, the more complicated it becomes. The divisions We create to understand Its endless complexity inherently negate any unification We might seek. In order to learn, We must divide, and in order to excel, We must specialize. It would be an improbable feat to understand It All, but We sure do try, and, like everything else, It is both beautiful and dangerous. If there's anything that is certain, It's that beauty and danger are two sides to any coin. We can twist anything up into all degrees of awesome madness, both glorious and despicable. The choice is All Ours.
These past couple of weeks have been the closest thing to a personal rite of passage that I have ever experienced. It exceeded my wildest expectations, confused me, amazed and awed me, gave me renewed faith and hope in humanity and will make for some amazing stories if I have the courage to tell them. I hope you'll have the same to ask me about them. For now, all I know is that I met some amazing people who I'll likely never meet again. Though I hope from the depths of my heart that these kind souls will cross my path again, I suspect that this isn't likely. For this, I'm deeply remorseful, but I do appreciate with all of my heart the experience of knowing each and every one of Us. We are the reason I ultimately walked, and I certainly learned a lot about myself that I'm still processing as I explore this reality each and every day. I learned that happiness is found in simplicity; there's no golden ticket or secret formula, but deep down in Our heart, We know It. Regardless of the divisions We constantly manifest to progress, Our heart reminds Us that everything is pulse. Like the seasons, moods, karma, and Our own hearts, the Universe operates in cycles. Perceived progress is merely secondary to the fundamental nature of this evolving Cosmos. No matter how large We make the divisions, they are mere illusion relative to these fundamental pulses and cycles, of offs and ons, in infinite degrees, dimensions and delusions. If We are to understand It, We must become It, which is a simple matter of attitude. We are capable of everything because We are everything, if only We can feel It in Our heart.
And so Our small step, my walking at least nearly 100,000 steps for most of 13 days in June from Texas to Colorado, is a collective donation, currently, of over $300 to Amnesty International to support global human rights. I feel this is appropriate if We wish to truly bring All into the fold. In order to achieve Universal United liberation, We must first be Universally United. We must always begin with what We think we know, for It is All that We have. Once We reasonably reach the inevitable end of that rope, We can then attempt to discern the Truth. Without All of the information, though, this is a fruitless, even destructive endeavor. Power concentrates in pockets, and division continues. Therefore, global human rights is a seemingly noble cause. For when We All get the chance to learn, though differing in divisions and specialization, We learn, most of all, Our natural inseparability, to some degree or another. All It takes from there is the eradication of the illusion of separability and negativity. Inseparability implies a realness to reality, while fundamentally, All is illusory. All is simple play, in every direction, every where, when, what, who, how and why. It is inescapably beautiful and dangerous, like God, Brahman, Allah, the Cosmos and You.
If You support global human rights, that We may All, someday, everyday, live in the bliss of Our dreams, desires and desperations, through understanding, compassion and love for each other like We are One, United, Universal self-aware knowing consciousness, together, forever, there's still time to add to Our collective donation. Until July 14th, We will accept contributions to add to the over $300 We have already! It is ALL going to Amnesty International, so tell your friends, spread the dream, and let's make this as big as possible together!
Thank you all for the generous support and encouragement throughout this whole endeavor. My feet are blistered, my body weak, and social skills malpracticed, but connections stronger than ever. My renewed sense of hope and purpose will not waiver in the near future, and I invite any and all reasonable requests from All. Apart from wrapping all this up, living in Boulder, CO for the summer, I am simply awaiting the wonder which the Cosmos will present Us with next. Let's keep it real, and make the present last. We can surely forever progress.
Day by day, We sit lost in our little boxes and bubbles, feeding our bodies, training our minds and generally sticking to what we know. We think of our hearts as merely another part of our bodies, albeit vital. We recognize the importance of blood circulation, even if only physically. But if this journey has taught me anything, it's that Our heart is the most important function of existence. Our bodies and minds feel pleasure and pain, yet Our heart transcends dualities. Regardless of how we treat it, it provides the beat that keeps blood in our veins to keep Us going. Like clockwork, without trying or caring, it works for Us. It doesn't matter how far We travel, how much We think we know; no matter who, where, what, when or why We are, It keeps right on ticking, with Us, for Us, from Us and even without Us. Like water, it is Our existence's vital peacekeeper. It maintains and regulates our bodies and minds, without ever knowing it.
This realization, though seemingly mundane, proves the sacrality of everything, deep down inside. All of God's creations function in cycles of pulse, of steady beats, ons and offs, keeping Us going, assured by persistence. Without such cycles, the body and mind could not function, for it is expectation, of nourishment, of actions and of obligation which dictates Our existence. There's no escaping pulse in this reality, and so We attempt to train Our mind to maintain Our body, both derived of the steady, unconditional beat of Our Heart. This is certain.
Uncertainty is everything. Besides the steady cycles of existence, We never know what to expect next. In our bubbles and boxes, we maintain a certain degree of accurate expectations through predictability, but when the bubble bursts is when We become lost. Some of Us are afraid of losing ourselves, and so we do everything to maintain the integrity of our reality; we often stick to them as if there is nothing else. Others, though we enjoy the predictability of our comfort zones, try to escape them whenever possible. Still others attempt to expand their bubbles to make incorporate as much as possible, to be comfortable everywhere. In all of this madness, it seems the only Universal is variety.
In this little trip of mine, I have explored every possibility I can muster. I've enjoyed myself with friends in comfortable places, I've lost myself in the wilderness of uncertainty and I've been content with everything God throws at me. In all of Its variety and wonder, I've seen things I'd never imagine, met people with all kinds of perspectives and experienced all shades of the Universe's steady, flowing madness. Still, I am lost. I have no idea what I'm doing, why I'm doing it or how. I just do. I've constantly escaped my own expectations and gone with the hugs and punches. All in all, the trip has been full of loving strangers, good friends, old and new, and plenty of surprise. There's no way to describe It in all its variety, but here I will attempt a summary. In a whirlwind of delirium and clarity, of experiencing pulse within and without me, this is what I've come to realize.
First, I'd like to apologize for not keeping better, more regular updates. I've tried my best, with friends and family mostly, to keep contact out here on the road, but delirium, time and technology impede utter genuity. It's very different typing on a computer to masses of people than it is talking face to face. But here I will try, and I'd love if you'd ask questions, more personally, so I can clarify things that interest you. It's been one hell of a trip, and I can only barely describe it now so far, so here goes...
Before leaving, I made sure to get everything I need, including nearly 20 pounds of food (nuts, dried fruit, granola, vegetable supplements ~$80), a first aid kit, sunscreen, lip balm (all~$20), socks, shoes, clothes, toiletries including a roll of toilet paper, new iPhone for navigation and contact, old Verizon phone in case of emergency, a 'bivvy' sack, a light novel, and my African farmers' hat adorned with flowers to catch peoples' eyes. All of these material things, though blessings I could not live without, have weighed me down and made the trip that much more difficult. But so is life; despite their value, the weight of material things is a struggle unique to humanity. Whether necessarily eating, or willingly playing, there's no end to the variety and wonder of our material possessions.
On Tuesday, June 1st, I set off from my parents' house in San Antonio, TX, after a whirlwind of preparations and doubt, but with a heart full of love, a body full of nourishment and a mind full of wonder, as only family may fully provide. It was hot, as expected, and my dedication consumed the doubts swimming around in my head. My first step was to make it to Interstate Highway 10, and once I got there, the doubts began to fade. Walking up 10, I saw my memories fade away behind me. The city I grew up in passed me by like my life flashing before my eyes, and I knew what I was seeking. I'm not sure whether it's happened yet, but I know I must be born-again, and again, and again. As I construct boxes to live in comfortably, perpetually along the trip, I realize the best We can do is to enjoy the present. All our doubts and expectations are born of a romantic history and imagined future. The only true contentment comes from enjoying every moment as if it is the only One.
In all of this musing, my feet carried me about 30 miles to the familiar town of Boerne, TX, where I camped near Cascade Caverns (~$10). This was likely the most uneventful evening of the whole trip thusfar. It was my first day out, and I felt a sense of optimism at having conquered my initial doubts to walk as far as I had from home. Still, I felt too close to comfort.
So, I continued walking the next day. I had made plans to meet a friend on Wednesday, June 2nd in Waring, TX at the Waring General Store, owned and operated by the folks at the Don Strange Ranch for a phenomenal weekly event known as Steak Nite. My good friend, Tom, cooked me and nearly 100 others a fabulously robust and uniquely Texan dinner, with beer and good times included. Here, I thought, will surely be a fond farewell to Texas as I know it, but the Universe had other plans.
The next day, being filled with nourishment and joy, I kept on walking, toward Fredricksburg on Thursday, June 3rd, just only a week ago, though it feels like it's been ages. The Texas hill country was really just beginning to kick my ass, but I made it to a little place called Alamo Springs. At the Alamo Springs General Store and Cafe, I was treated to the most friendly hospitality and graciousness I'd ever experienced. The staff there, in addition to making great burgers, will always have a good conversation with you and make you feel right at home. It seemed I had not yet left my comfort zone, and likely wouldn't for days still.
They recommended I check out the Fredricksburg Brewery on my way through, and considering I wouldn't make it to my destination out of the way at Enchanted Rock, I figured it'd be a nice experience. Boy, were they right! I enjoyed yet another Texas evening with the fine folks of Fredricksburg, where public drinking is legal, and you'll never find yourself at a loss for words. After meeting some locals, I got comfortable and prepared for what I expected to be the toughest days ahead.
Friday, June 4th, only days from leaving home, I set off from Fredricksburg toward Mason, TX, through some of the toughest heat yet. Only about 5 miles from town, at a small picnic area with "Don't Mess with Texas" signs, but no trash cans to boot, I encountered some cute kittens that seemed to have been dumped there. They were all 3 female, and so were likely not wanted for financial reasons. I felt bad for the poor things, being in the heat surrounded by snakes and coyotes and what have you, so I fed them nuts and water for a few hours while I tried to figure out if anyone could save them. I'm not sure if they're still there, but I sure hope someone picked tjhem up. Regardless, it was a lesson in restraint, that despite overwhelming compassion, there's nothing we can do sometimes. So, with a heavy heart, unprepared to carry 3 kittens 35 miles to my next destination, I left them behind, as good as dead. Still, God had plans for me that I could never have expected.
Only minutes after leaving the kittens, a man in an old Ford pulled over on highway 87 and asked if I needed any help. Worn through by the heat and bleak road ahead, I accepted, and boy was it a great choice! As the fellow Jeff drove me up a hill and we exchanged small talk, after hearing about the trip, he suggested that I was walking the wrong way to Colorado! Knowing some folks were going to be headed to Colorado by the end of the week, he recommended I check out the Kerrville Folk Festival, just around the corner from where I started in San Antonio. Hesitant to go backwards, but interested in the experience, I decided to accept the offer and hung out with Jeff the rest of the afternoon before we headed down to Kerrville. Once there, I knew I had been blessed in the decision!
A community of variety at its finest, they greet each and every person with a huge hug and a very appropriate "Welcome Home". No doubt, anyone could feel right at home at this 18 day(!!) music and culture festival in Quiet Valley in the heart of the Texas hill country. So, despite my physically coming full circle, I felt a sense of progress that can only be realized among a family of loving people all trying to find a place. Instead of the lonely road through the devastating edge of the Texas panhandle, becoming more and more deserted, then I spent the weekend in an oasis of splendor and community to which I will surely try to return. Like countless folks before me, the atmosphere of this festival 'marathon' lent to my outright
'Kerrversion,' that I would highly recommend to anybody! Still, my heart dedicated to the trip, by Sunday, I was ready to move on.
Lucky enough, I found a ride to Austin as I left, where I managed a ride through Dallas to Springfield, CO(gas~$80), both to catch up/get ahead, and skip over the deathly panhandle. Knowing I wouldn't want to jeopardize all that We have achieved thusfar, my heart told me I couldn't make it the five or more days through the desolation of the stretch I skipped, and my body and mind surely couldn't have managed to even accomodate the water necessary to such an endeavour in mid-June. Yet again, it was a great choice!
Springfield, CO, a cute town with an appropriately Simpsons' name, was more than accomodating as I refueled (battery and water), and met some locals. One such fellow, an recovering ex-con by the name of Thomas, provided me with the first monetary contribution on the road for the cause. Giving me 3 dollars and a place to relax before finding a place to sleep, we had quite a revealing discussion about the world and our place within it. Seeming opposites in our experiences and perspectives, we got along like peanut butter and jelly. Though we only agreed on fundamentals, we parted ways with the realization that, despite our differences, we're both dedicated to seeking the truth. He tried to give me a porno mag, and gave me a small bottle of anointing oil from his grandparents to fight the stench of the road. Still, smelly and worn out, I walked to just outside of town near a railway to pass out. Along the way, God played a beautiful joke on me, conjuring a storm all around me, but never reaching me, to accompany the gorgeous sunset on the plains. I have some astounding pictures, and I now know what Jimi Hendrix meant by Purple Rain.
The past couple of days have been the most difficult yet. Out in the middle of nowhere Colorado, though very glad to be here, I was bombarded by incredibly dynamic weather, less than hospitable farmlands and dusty, windy dirt trails. Following the railway much of the way, I passed through Deora, where I found a place to curl up Tuesday night, and by the grace of God, yesterday, managed to be picked up just before delirium set in about 20 miles still from Las Animas. Herman, a Dish cable guy, brought me into town, gave me renewed hope and a Pepsi, and went off to do his duty, installing cable for the fine folks of southeastern Colorado. Without him, I'd likely still be in route here.
To say the least, though it's been an epic trip, I still have no idea what I'm seeking. Like most blessings, it's likely right in front of my face. The things we take for granted are innumerable and everywhere, but how should we know unless it hits us? Maybe all I needed was an escape from my comfort zone, to see what the world would provide in new experiences and surprises. All I know is I still have a long road ahead, but plenty of time for it. I plan on rambling on the plains to see if I can't realize what I've been searching for. It dawns on me that maybe I'm trying to hard; maybe what I seek is as simple as finding a place in the world to joyfully, in love, fulfill my duty.
Regardless, I know we must perpetually count our blessings and thank the Universe for every opportunity. I know I will from here on out. Whether it be the incredible support y'all have shown this dream, or the strangers I make friends with along the way, there's no end to them. They are everywhere, unconditionally presenting themselves for our heart to manifest. No matter what We may try to realize, the fact that We can make a difference in this world together is astoundingly real.
So far we've raised over $600, less than $200 of which has been used towards this trip so far, so our collective donation to Amnesty International, supporting global human rights is sitting right around $400, with only a little over a week to go until I'm done. This incredible donation would not be possible without my good friends with Dreamtime Productions ATX (Austin, TX), Sonic Bloom Music Festival (the ultimate destination and loving sponsor) and support from each and every one of y'all! We've been phenomenally receptive to the dream, and We're turning it into phenomenal action! We've surpassed even my wildest expectations, and we'll be accepting contributions through July 14th in order to make this as big as possible! I will submit our collective donation to Amnesty International on July 15th, after collecting through Sonic Bloom and beyond. So keep spreading the dream to get as many people in on this as possible. I'd love to meet each and every one of y'all, so don't be shy! I apologize for any opportunity or contact I've missed, but it's been a hell of a ride. Hopefully as this thing gets done, I'll have more opportunity to respond to questions or concerns as you present them. Again, thanks so much for reading and keeping up with me! I wish the best for Us all. We love Us!
