Monday, May 31, 2010

I Love You



I'm nervous, but as the Cosmos always has, I trust It will provide. I'll be leaving in hours and I've never felt so unsure of everything in my entire life. I know this is reality at its finest, with all its doubts and insecurities, nagging worries and anticipations. I know I just want to be free, if only for a little while. But why? Why do I want to escape? What am I escaping from? I think my life is pretty good; I have a loving family, great friends, a bright future. So what am I afraid of? Am I afraid of responsibility? Of expectations? Of getting lost in 'reality'? That can't be, because it's inescapable. Am I afraid of anything?

I guess that's why I'm doing this. I want to experience something incredible. I want to get out of my comfort zone to really learn something; force myself to adapt. Call it a rite of passage, social-spiritual detox, soul-searching, what matters is that I put my whole heart into it. If my heart is driving my being, the body and mind will follow. At least, this is my hypothesis. There's no telling what will stand between me and Bliss, but I know it won't be easy. Even if everything goes according to plan, it's going to be painful, discomforting, and certainly revealing. I must test my own character in order to test yours.

Because I couldn't do this without you. The You in you is the same as the You in me. The only difference is perspective, and I'd love to learn yours always a little bit better. I'll gladly try to share my perspective here, especially along this walk over the next month, but please don't hesitate to show me You. You're the reason I breath, each and every last one of you. I live to remind you that we're all in this silly little adventure together, even if it doesn't always seem so. Every division our minds make to understand the world can be mended by the heart, through unconditional love, and I walk to remind Us of this. It's only a first step, but I'll be back. Thank you for being you.



Peace & Love; We live as We dream --together.

1 comment:

  1. I really like this blog. In a way, you're bringing me-- and possibly all of us-- along on our own journeys of confronting our fears, whatever they may be. It's normal to be nervous about what you're doing. I've confirmed that 100% with my friends and yours. Not a single dissenter--even Suz is paying attention.

    Thank you for being honest, authentic. Not very many people have done this and it's unknown, so it's scary. And yet, it's just a walk. I realized tonight that a drive to the mall could be just as dangerous. Thank you for putting this in perspective. But still, watch out for snakes, scorpions, coyotes, crazy hateful people, metal flying off the highway, sun stroke, lack of water, exhaustion, etc., etc. There are some areas of your walk in the Colorado leg of the journey that are really long (40-60 miles without any substantial cities--Lake Meredith for instance doesn't appear to have potable water--that we may need to look at more closely. But we have time.

    I imagine the first hunter-gatherer tribes walking through Africa to Asia. They didn't know where the watering holes were. They had to take it on faith, good sense and reading information in nature itself, like bird paths or sounds, that we are no longer be able to do. This certainly hones the senses. Sleep well, but call me if you get this message before you crash.

    Thanks, Mom.

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